I'm not Strong enough, but HE is!

I was just reminded by my dearest friend that we are not Strong Enough, but GOD is here to strengthen us. I was reminded of my initial journey, thought upon the arrival of my lil ones!

I seem to go back in time, but i think it's important to realize, We are not strong enough, BUT HE IS.
This is my memory from mid Nov-2012!
 

Two months after all five kids entered  our life.    I remember rocking  baby (N) feeling exhausted, weak, sick and overwhelmed.  Chris(hubby) was at work and wasn’t getting home until 11pm….. I was alone with all five kids  every night. I Didn’t know how to ask for help, I forgot to call on GOD;(

I remember  tears rolling down my cheeks trying to hide my cry from the older kids, in my heart and mind I was talking to God , saying “ I couldn’t handle this task- it was TOO BIG, I wasn’t strong enough, I was ready to call it QUITS.

 One phone call to the social worker and I could have my old life back! But of course that made me even more sad to think the kids were going to live in separate homes, there was no other family wanting to take five kids!  My heart cried out  to God saying I’m no supermom, why do you think I could do this? I was getting mad at God, because these innocent children didn’t need another adult to fail them……and give up on them.  They needed unconditional LOVE, a RELENTLESS PARENT,  somebody to fight for them.  I WAS TOO WEAK.

 Then in a gentle nudge, HE reminded me that it was ok to feel tired and overwhelmed, the task was tough, but HE was our STRENGTH, we weren’t  Alone. HE reminded  me that it was ok to take a minute to myself, I wasn’t a bad mom  just because I was asking to take a Minute or Two for ME!. HE reminded me how much HE loved me and how much HE loved the children  That night I prayed for the BABY and the other 4 Kids to have a GOOD night SLEEP, because I (mommy) needed a good night sleep.  ONLY GOD  can make a two month old baby SLEEP 8hrs!!! SO I GOT MY 8HRS SLEEP....IT was AWESOME! I learned to ACCEPT HELP  even ASK for help from friends.

NOW, A Year Later Nov 2012 ,
It's amazing to see how far  we've come, WITH GOD ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE- Mathew 19:26 

lil feet

TPR was finalized 4-2012- Picture was taken 7-2012. Adoption paper work has begun!

Alaska Sep.2011.

This is our last trip we took as a party of  two.

 A few weeks later we became a party of 7!! GOD IS AMAZING!

closer to adoption

We met with our case manager last week, and she mentioned that she is almost done with our adoption paper work! wow, what a journey:) Who would've thought  that we were going to adopt 5siblings all at once, ONLY GOD can turn my life upside down and turn our empty home into a kids playground.
It has not been an easy road, but it is a road i wouldn't change! In the beginning we had our share of behavioral issues and inappropriate behavior towards each other. I've learned to take one day at a time. I'm incredibly humbled for the opportunity to plant the Jesus seed to my kids:) so weird to say my kids. Just a year ago we were mourning the loss of a fail adoption( long story).